“What would you like to do for Mother’s Day?” asks Hubby.
I start to think. What do I want to do?
My wish list:
- A relaxing morning.
- A peaceful day with no arguments.
- A nice meal with the sun shining down on us and the kids able to play nicely together.
- Cuddles and kisses.
- Pots of tea.
- Perhaps a little Nanna nap under a blanket.
- A clean house for the day without me picking up after everyone.
- Visit my Mum whilst Hubby plays football.
- Oh and did I mention PEACE!
After I replied, my hubby said:
“You know the only way that I’m going to be able to achieve that is by taking the kids out for the day without you.”
He’s right of course.
But the thing is that society has built Mother’s Day up as a Hallmark event. Everyone puts on their Sunday best and heads out for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner and is expected to behave perfectly for Mummy.
A couple of years ago I remember both my children chucked the biggest tantrums just before we were heading out to what was supposed to be the “perfect day”. The 20 minute drive saw me in fits of tears, my “perfect day” ruined by their tantrum. Then came lengthy delays just to get to the venue due to traffic and then having to put on a front in front of thousands of people that I was in fact having a “perfect Mother’s Day”. Pressure!
Please don’t get me wrong. I love my children more than life itself but, parenting is exhausting. Mediating arguments, being asked questions constantly and meeting their needs is exhausting. Running around after them, picking them up, being tugged on. It’s exhausting. You don’t get to do what you want to do because their needs come first. Which is fine. It’s expected. They need our love, our support and our guidance but meeting the above often means neglecting what we want and sometimes, what we need.
So this year what did I do? I did everything that I wanted to do, but over four days. Genius right?!?!?
I spent time alone with my daughter over afternoon tea on Thursday afternoon and then I helped at my daughters school on Friday morning with the Mother’s Day Stall. I got to hang with some really awesome Mums!
Saturday I went to the shops, ran a few errands, enjoyed my favourite meal at my favourite cafe and then had a full body massage (which was actually very painful and resulted in tears from the pain of it, but was something for me), enjoyed a long soak in the bath whilst watching a TV show on the laptop and then went to bed with a hot water bottle over my sciatica and tried to study whilst laying on my side lol!
Sunday morning saw the kids sleep until 7am 🙌🏻. Presents were opened and some eaten (well played Daycare with the hand made chocolate).
Breakfast in bed followed with the bedroom door closed = peace.
A trip to the movies
We are truly lucky to get Mothers Day. We whinge and whine about our kids sometimes/a lot depending on the day, but we are lucky to have them. I know women who have tried and can’t have kids. There are women who have lost their child through miscarriage/labor of through illness. I suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It’s awful. So whilst I won’t get the “perfect day” all in one day, I am lucky to get to celebrate the day at all. Lucky that my hubby was happy to take the kids when I needed him too and let me spread it out as required and I got there in the end. My kids are happy they got to spoil me and isn’t watching their happiness worth it!
And I’ll leave you with this.